Simpatico
by ProbableLurker
Summary: After striking a deal with an unnamed Eridian while hanging out in Rhys' brain, Jack ends up being stuck with Rhys for much, much longer than he would have thought possible.
1. Chapter 1

He didn't know what the hell this was but it definitely _wasn't_ a dream, Rhys had been extra touchy lately. Kid wasn't even acknowledging him, and to top it off the moment Jack mentioned his nerdy little friend he started bashing his head against a concrete wall until Jack went away.

Usually he would root around in Rhys' mind, looking through memories, maybe concoct some filthy wet dreams for his kiddo to have.

Just for the hell of it for the most part, Jack just liked to watch him squirm.

So now, he was standing in front of some...thing. It was probably an Eridian, he realized. This one was more human-like as far as Eridians went, so maybe not.

Whatever it was it was still a monstrosity, but one that didn't induce horror as easily. It stood tall, taller than him, maybe about ten feet. Claws for hands, and a tail that hit the floor with a loud _**THUMP**_ every so often. The tail end up leaving behind some kind of ooze wherever it made contact.

 **Gross.**

 ** **"You are Handsome Jack."**** it stated pointedly, so it speaks, he thought. Awesome.

"Uh- Ha yeah sugar. That's-that's me." He replied, he hadn't felt this small since he was a stupid scared little kid, he hadn't felt that in-fuck he hated that feeling.

 ** **"Rhys is fond of you. You are fond of him too."**** Jack bristled at that. so what if he thought Rhys was pretty damn fuckable...For a pathetic little code monkey. That Doesn't mean that he gives a shit, just that he thinks the kids easy on the eyes.

"Well who the fuck isn't?! I mean I am the hero here!" that seemed to kick the creature into full on business mode.

 ** **"I am going to get you a body, Handsome Jack. Rhys will help you and you will help him and protect him."****

"What?" The alien spoke in concise statements like a recording, he felt like he was on Eridian hotline for aggravated and confused humans stuck in limbo.

 **"If you allow him to die, or try to kill him you will die. Painfully. You will help him."**

"I'm not playing fucking babysitter just because some fucking star trek knock off threatens me." Jack spat back, he was getting real fucking tired of following other peoples demands. He was Handsome fucking Jack, he didn't follow anyone else's lead.

 ** **"He can get you to a vault, if you gain his trust"**** The creature looked livid, like it just lost everything, it made a noise that sounded almost like a sigh, ****"...Rhys is a siren. You will do good things for Pandora with him and you will be the hero you always believed you were."****

The idea of getting to a vault and destroying this piss-hole of a planet ended up being the thing that got him to begrudgingly agree.

* * *

"C'mon walk this way for me, kitten." Jack, well his holographic form, whispered in Rhys' ear. "I've got coordinates, a clone facility Nakayama had. Apparently that little freak could do something right."

Jack didn't have anything to lose, so he figured that seeing as how the way to a body was essentially empty, Rhys would stay alive and he could get a body. Go back to being a real life bonafide bad ass. Rhys had been incredibly obedient toward him since that talk he had with the Eridian while he was stuck in Rhys' head space.

It definitely made keeping him alive and well easier, he hadn't even questioned where he got the coordinates to get himself a body or even if it was a good idea to leave his...Friends/accomplices/frenemies In the middle of the night.

They were almost on the doorstep of the... __Facility__ was a nice way to put it, more like a shack with clones and preserved dead body doubles. The crazy thing being that the closer he got to a corporeal body the more could feel the inclination to protect Rhys getting stronger. __so this is what it is__ , he mused, __he gets a protector and I get an obedient siren to do whatever I want with? Not a bad deal, I guess.__ He didn't understand the creature's motivation but he doesn't mind taking care of Rhys if he can get him to a vault.

He doesn't have a problem with Rhys. His bandit friends? ****Yes.**** His Hyperion so-called best friends who would betray him in a heartbeat? ** **Definitely.****

"This place is creepy," Rhys said, mainly to himself, "I mean I always admired you but this" the redheaded male gestured around the smallish space, "is some __single white female__ kind of stalker crap." Rhys allowed himself a small smile when he heard Jack chuckling at what he said.

"Yeah, well. You're not wrong, kiddo." Jack replied, feeling a little superior already. "but I'm not in the mood to be picky about where I'm getting my new body, babe." He added, "Just Jack my chip in. Ha! Jack in, you get it, kiddo? yeeeeaaaaah, of course ya do."

"Oh...um, which one?" The compulsion to defer to Jack had been there for a while, he had only started listening to it without too much coaxing in the last 48 hours.

"That one," Jack gestured over to a clone still in its formaldehyde covered cocoon, "looks like the least likely to have fanboy splooge all over it."

His new body was good, just as good as his old one even. Maybe even better, this new body of his had a virgin liver and lacked his trademark scar. He found an outfit that would at least appear unassuming enough that he wouldn't be attacked on sight. He had almost got lost in the feeling of being alive again when he heard the tiny whimpers Rhys was emitting. He looked so scared and vulnerable, then Jack saw the blood leaking from his port.

"Shit, Shit shit! Rhys, pumpkin, baby... What'd you do?" he moved over to sit with with the other man, manhandling his ex employee on his lap. "You couldn't have just used the chip? It's in your pocket dummy."

Rhys looked at him with prideful indignation. He pouts as if he's getting ready to tell Jack off in that snarky-little-kitten way of his, but his words come out smaller than Rhys probably wants them to. "I did! But I...When you left my..." He broke off into a moan of pain, "H-h-hurts." He mumbled, feeling stabs to his pride for whimpering to a psychopath like Handsome Jack.

Rhys had always had an incredibly high pain tolerance but this was unbearable, and it killed his dignity that he was sitting in Handsome Jack's lap like some child. "Okay kitten, let daddy take care of this, then." Jack snarked, grinning at Jack and wriggling his eyebrows.

Rhys rolled his eyes at the former CEO, even in the midst of all of his incredible pain, Jack just has to make some stupid innuendo. Or call him some kind of petty endearment, possibly accompanied by some kind of cursory glance that resembled a leer. If Rhys didn't know any better, he'd think Jack was flirting with him.

He let his pride go and submitted to Jack as the older man cleaned the blood out of his port, and made sure there wasn't any more, permanent damage. Jack said something to him that sounded disturbingly like, "good boy."

Jack was surprisingly good at being gentle, he soothed the younger man every time he flinched or hissed, he couldn't feel anything other than white hot pain, his port was incredibly sensitive, but usually it was sensitive in a good way instead of this torture.

Rhys could see Jack's hands shaking; like he thought Rhys was something fragile and dangerous and if he messed up he would break the younger man beyond repair. It occurred to Jack that he feasibly could. He could break Rhys, he could ruin him and tear down and destroy every pretty facet of the cybernetic man. "Feeling better, kitten?" Jack smirked, "not gonna piss yourself from the pain now?"

"You helped me." The younger man croaked to him, looking at him with confusion in his eyes.

"Why would you do that? Jack, I don't…" Get it, his brain finished lamely unspoken. Rhys wasn't stupid, he didn't have any illusions about Jack and his relationship with him. In his eyes Jack was a hero, someone larger than life, bigger than _god_. He had no reason to waste his time and his breath on Rhys under normal circumstances. He certainly wouldn't be straddled in Jack's lap like some overgrown house cat. If the CEO hadn't been forced into it by being stuck in Rhys' head he would have never even met Jack. Or maybe ended up dead on his floor, for no particular reason. Jack chuckled, but it sounded a little off.

"Kiddo, me an' you" he gripped Rhys' waist hard, almost punishingly. "We're gonna do some great things. We get back to Helios, you're going straight to the top. __Riiiiiight__ under me." Jack wriggled his eyebrows up and down. "You know, as my second-in-command."

But __first__ they had to get off Pandora.


	2. Chapter 2

Rhys should have realized what would happen when he came back to the caravan with Jack trailing behind him with a smug sense of victory emblazoned on his face but he honestly hadn't expected too much of a problem because he hadn't thought about the consequences even a little bit. The only thing he had made sure of was telling Jack not to just kill his friends because he got bored.

He had very nicely and sweetly asked Jack to stay out of it unless things got ugly and to his surprise the CEO had agreed, "But once this goes south-and believe me sugar it will-don't blame me when those bandits have their brains splattered all across their stupid little caravan." he warned, almost in boredom.

"I can't believe this Rhys!" Fiona spat, "You resurrected the worst psychopath this side of Elpis and you- just- Aaaagh! I can't believe you!" she pushed the lanky middle manager and he fell into an open chest with multiple gadgets inside of it that poked and cut him everywhere tangible, "Actually I can. Hyperion scum." she spat.

"Maybe we should hear him out?" Vaughn piped up, still a little sore from the guilt of betraying Rhys and he was a little awed and afraid of Handsome Jack. He had never had the sort of wide-eyed adoration of the Hyperion CEO that Rhys and so many of his co-workers had, Vaughn just looked at him and felt nothing other than fear and unease.

Still, he trusted Rhys and knew that he wouldn't just resurrect Jack without a good reason. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

"Fine," Fiona assented, Rhys briefly wondered if she might have a soft spot for Vaughn after they had survived that death race together, "You've got five minutes."

"I figured that-" he starts, pausing ever so intelligently, to collect his thoughts, "He can get us off Pandora! Then- then we won't be stuck on this pl-planet, being chased after Vallory and her goons!" he put his arms out, more exasperated by his own lack of forethought than anything else. "Come on guys I just- please?"

"So you tracked down a way to get Handsome Jack- you know the most hated guy in all the six galaxies, especially Pandora- in a body?"

"Well...yes? But if he's down here it'll be easier to do everything."

"Such as?"

"Getting off Pandora? You guys could go to Elpis or one of the Eden's even." Rhys attested sincerely, truthfully he wanted a non-violent solution for his problems but at the same time he wasn't sure if Fiona and Sasha would agree. This was Handsome Jack, most notorious face on Pandora lack of mask notwithstanding and he would have an understanding if they threw the two of them out of their moving caravan. Still, he trusted Jack even if he had no idea how he still did.

"You could get jobs on Helios," Jack quipped, ever the smart ass. He gave a wicked grin as everyone in the caravan threw heated glares towards him.

"And how are we gonna do that?" Sasha interjected, looking past him warily at the newly resurrected psychopath.

"There's a fast travel station in overlook, bit of a drive but we should get there in about two or three nights."

"How...dangerous would it be?" Fiona asked, "Like, how likely is it that we would die."

"There's threshers and bandits but it's the best option we- no, you have." Jack sneered as full of bravado as ever, "Heroes don't die."

Smartly, no one decided to mention that Jack was literally a dead man walking.

"You're going to betray us." Sasha accused.

"And have Mr. Friendship is everything bitch at me? No thanks sugar, I'd rather spend the cash to put you on one of the cushier planets." Rhys pouted at the jab but ultimately didn't say anything, honestly he was surprised that they listened to him for that long before someone spoke over him and he was forgotten altogether.

The two sisters looked at each other, seemingly having an argument with no words. After what seemed like hours and was probably only minutes, Fiona and Sasha said, with an uneasy tone. "Okay, we'll do that."

It was lucky considering that they only ended up getting the sisters to agree because of the sheer opportunism that Pandora had beat into them with a symbolic buzz axe comprised of hunger, fatigue and misery. Still, Rhys supposed that things had gone well, which generally meant that there wasn't too much more time until something awful happened to the lot of them.

* * *

Once they set a path on Rhys' echo for Overlook, sailing- or driving really, was a little rocky but the group was counting their blessings. The caravan still worked, Jack was being amiable enough- apparently he was always pretty good to his team- and the one time someone had tried to hold them up, it had been three admittedly weak marauders. All in all, smoother sailing than you would expect for Pandora.

"There's a motel there guys!" Vaughn pointed out, hoping it wasn't some kind of mirage from the sleep deprivation.

"Really? Like everyone gets their own bed?" Rhys perked up, excited at the prospect of not having to bend himself in half every time he slept or even- if everything worked right- a shower!

"Probably!" Vaughn said looking at the area, "Happy pig motel…?"

"Happy pig motel?" Jack broke out into racuous laughter, "Ho-ly shit! That's the place with all those-" he quickly shut his mouth, realizing that 'this is the hotel that had all those satanic sacrifices a couple of years ago' wouldn't be funny or easing to anyone in the room and he wasn't enough of an asshole that he would sacrifice his teams morale for a cheap laugh. Employees? Sure. Just not his team. "You know what it's probably fine."

"As long as it has beds and water I don't care if they did eyes-wide-shut orgies there." Fiona stated, _You know what that's pretty close,_ Jack sniggered. "It looks deserted. Vaughn pull up! we'll actually get some sleep for and recharge."

* * *

The motel was small, but had five rooms with beds, well six but Jack had peered into the room and told them not to go in there, making sure with closing the door and wrenching off the handle. Technically, they each could have had their own room but Jack made a comment about wanting to have some alone time with his new favorite employee. Rhys had flustered and bumbled, ultimately going along with what Jack wanted because arguing with him was like trying to convince brick to change to wood.

Once they were alone, the only topic Rhys could think of involved masks. Because, of course he would be alone with his idol and only be able to put his foot in his mouth, "Um, Jack?" he tried, speaking softer than he ever did. Partially hoping that Jack wouldn't hear him and he could turn over for the night.

"Sup, Princess?"

"You wear that mask that that um- the one that one of those bandits wore and-"

"You wanna know why I wear it when we leave this lovely little rust bucket?" Jack guessed, although flustered Rhys was cute- and he'd deny that and kill you if you told anyone- he really hoped the kid got used to him being there in the flesh.

"Yeah."

"I'm a little under dressed, kiddo." Jack explained easily, "The only weapon I found on those morons was that pistol. It was Hyperion which- you gotta admit cupcake that's fucking poetic as shit," Jack let out an audible groan, "and I don't have my watch, you'd think Nakataka would have just robbed my..." he trailed off as if he was physically unable to say the word 'Grave' and let silence hang in the air.

"You mean Nakayama?" Rhys tried, looking at Jack with an indiscernible expression. Something soft that the older man decided not to comment on.

"Yeah, whatever." Jack grumbled, "We got hot water here sweetness, go wash up." the statement seemed sweet until Jack added, "You stink." causing the amber haired male to scowl even as he did just as Jack told him to.

After what was objectively the most relaxing, the most amazing and most refreshing shower he had ever had; Rhys stepped out of the washroom a towel on his waist and pretty much nothing else, he looked around the room for them and let out a yelp when Jack wrenched his unclothed organic arm, "So how long have you been pretending not to be a siren, cupcake?"

"What? No, I'm not a siren..." Rhys protested, "They're just...tattoos that I got in high school." He knew what the fate of Sirens were, you either lived your life out as a battery, died while strapped down to an operating table with an overzealous scientist performing the most morally reprehensible and dehumanizing things that you could do to a person or...run away to one of the border planets and become a Vault Hunter.

Rhys had no wish to do any of the above and he was pretty sure that he was the first male siren in recorded history.

 _So, I'll be experimented on then._ He thought grimly, his thoughts obvious by the look on his face.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a shitty liar, Rhysie?" It was almost said in a growl, "C'mon pumpkin, tell me the truth." Jack could probably kill him if he wanted to, Rhys realized as he acknowledged their position. Jack with one arm holding painfully tight on his forearm, not letting go, he vaguely wondered if he was going to leave bruises there that he would have to awkwardly explain away.

He gulped, weighing the pros and cons of Jack strangling him to death verse being used for his powers until he died. He meant to say something, lie maybe, even if Jack didn't believe him he had to try, but all that came out of his mouth was, "Well- I...uh..."

"The truth Rhys." Jack ordered, clearly getting impatient. Rolling his eyes he added, "I'm not gonna fuck you over, Rhysie." he said it so firmly, so believably that Rhys was inclined to do what Jack wished of him. What options did he even have anyways? He could trust Jack, definitely. The man had not steered him wrong in the past.

"I...I'm not sure. It's- I've always been able to- do things?" he furrowed his brows, "Things that other people around me couldn't I guess?"

"Hm, how well can you control your powers then?"

"I just don't use them." Rhys said with an easy shrug, "If I just don't get too emotional then I won't...kill anyone." the words that Rhys spoke gave Jack an idea, a horrible idea but still one that might work...even if it had horrible consequences.

"Tell me how you lost your arm."

"I don't want to."

"Tell me."

"I-i-i-in a c-c-c-car accident." he stuttered out, pain and memories flooding him, overstimulating him. If Jack kept this up he was going to have a meltdown and then he wouldn't have such control over his powers.

"Were you driving?"

"Jack, please stop." Rhys croaked and let out a sob, clearly becoming visibly upset.

A fog of guilt hit Jack when he heard the sobs bubbling from Rhys throat but he kept it up, deciding to make it up to his siren later. "Ah, come on sweetheart-" and for some reason the plying tone that usually would calm him down set something unknown off in Rhys.

" _ **I said no!"**_ He snapped, sure that if he was any angrier he would be foaming at the mouth and gnashing his teeth. Vaguely he realized that there's not much time for him to stop himself before his arm starts to flicker, going from their usual blue to a stark blinding white. Jack noticed momentarily that a few of them were actual ink, probably added on to deter people from questioning Rhys about his markings.

Despite how angry he was at the man, Rhys wasn't going to hurt Jack. They wouldn't be able to get off Pandora without Jack's bio-signature, which out of respect was still active just the same way that out of respect no one had touched the CEO position yet.

If Rhys was being true to himself, he still had affection for Jack, even if all of his ugly parts were loud and proud; on display for him in a way that he hadn't been privy to before. In a way, knowing Jack so clearly only made his stupid crush more prevalent.

Rhys turned around, the orb in his hand still pulsing and slammed it down on an old rusty counter, dissolving the entire thing.

Jack is mainly surprised, but partially grateful that Rhys didn't just kill him while he had the power over him to do so and truthfully, Jack hadn't _meant_ to make him cry. He had just meant to test his powers and see a little of what he could do.

Annoyingly enough, he had started to realize in the weeks of having a body with the lanky male, that he didn't _like_ hurting Rhys or causing him emotional pain. A pain in the ass if you asked him, having to think about his actions and if they might end up hurting Rhys.

He doesn't stop Rhys as he grabs his clothes and storms out, not at all aware of that he so easily played into the other man's hand.

* * *

Rhys had been looking for Vaughn but instead happened upon Sasha, he didn't exactly know what possessed him to sit with her in the horrible state that he was in but no one had ever accused him of good decision making skills.

"Hey" She said, "I'm making sandwiches. Do ya want one?"

"Mm-hmm, thank you." he croaked, mentally shutting down with a hope she wouldn't notice that he had bawled his eyes out. He wouldn't put mocking him still past her, he didn't know her that well.

Sasha gave him an incredulous look, Rhys was being uncharacteristically quiet. He wasn't as talkative as jack- but that was an unfair comparison because if being annoying was a sport Jack would go to the Olympics and get gold- but he definitely rambled a fair bit and it had become normal for Rhys to babble on about this or that. "What's up with you?"

"Nothin' 'm fine." Rhys replied softly, and Sasha looked at him for a full minute before sighing, she wasn't good at that whole...nurturing thing. "Mm-kay. Rakk eggs?"

"They're eggs so yeah."

"How about skag?"

"I guess."

"Alright!" She said before getting to work, with cooking, unwittingly leaving Rhys to brood and mope until he was a puddle of depression and self loathing. When she sat down with two plates for them, she actually got to look at Rhys' face. The first thing she really noticed was how blotchy it was, and how red the rims of his eyes were. He had obviously been crying but she wasn't cruel enough to call him out on it. "What?" Rhys snapped self consciously when he noticed she was looking at him.

"I...Oh my god you're hairs all fluffy." she lied as easily as she could, "I totally thought you had moppy hair."

"It should be moppy, it just DOESN'T LISTEN TO ME." he yelled the last part seemingly at his hair specifically.

"It's all frizzy!"

"Ugh, I know it's the worst."

"I know this is gonna sound weird but can I touch it? No one Pandora has nice hair."

Rhys scoffed, "Sure." he said shortly. "Don't get used to it, as soon as I get to Helios it's back to being straightened and gelled."

"Were you crying?" She asked as she pulled back with a look on her face that gave Rhys pause.

He thought for a moment on what he should do and ended up trying to play it off, "Ha, yeah..." he said, nervous motions making their way into his body language. "Jack said some stuff, it just got to me and I..." He sniffled softly, internally cringing at weak he sounded.

"He made you cry?" Sasha raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"That's...weird."

"It's Jack." He said, the same as he would say the weather.

"Right. But he hasn't been like that to you," She pointed out, " He barely tolerates us. I kinda thought he wouldn't be mean to you."

"I don't think he meant to," Rhys said, and that was true enough. If Jack really meant to hurt him he doubted the man would have let him leave. "But why wouldn't you? He asked, as an afterthought and it took all of Sasha's energy not to roll her eyes and smack him upside the head for being so ditzy.

"Uh, Rhys don't take this the wrong way but..."

"But what?" he asked, "Jack's not gonna kill us I promise! I mean he's a prick who made me cry but he's not suicidal." Technically that was true, Jack had no shield, a crappy gun, and he was missing all his tech. Add all that in with him being out of practice and he was practically helpless.

"I know, I know!" She held her hands up in mock surrender, "That's not what I was gonna say."

"Oh."

"Actually I'm pretty sure Jack has a thing for you."

"Oh," he said, followed by a more alarmed, "Oh!"

"Yeah..."

"No, I don't think so…" Rhys giggled nervously, cradling his arms self consciously, "I mean- why would he- no."

"Why else would he choose you to be his second in command?" Sasha asked rhetorically and Rhys internally bristled, as if the only thing he would be good for with Handsome Jack was sex! He's one of the most powerful beings in the universe, thank you very much.

He wanted to say all these things but knew how suicidal it would be, he likes Sasha, he really does but he knows how desperate she and Fiona are to get off Pandora. Why else would _they_ trust in Handsome Jack?

So, instead Rhys just sighed and said, "I think he just likes that I'm loyal."

"Yeah, I guess." Sasha agreed, "Still doesn't explain why he grabs your ass so much."

* * *

Rhys ended up avoiding Jack as much as he could after that, mainly just to be spiteful until the older man would man up and apologize. The way things were looking, he would either end up giving up or texting Jack all of the information that he needed; sub-routing the silent treatment without breaking it.

"Wow, he's pissed at you." Vaughn commented, on the third day. He was pretty much a grizzled veteran when it came to Rhys' idiosyncrasies and generally when he wasn't just chewing you out that meant a fuck up on the level of Hiroshima.

"Yeah, what would you know muscles?" Jack snapped, "You don't know shit." he's not one to be ignored, it's almost impossible but as Jack hasn't so much as looked atRhys since that day. He honestly had no idea what to do, Rhys won't let Jack sweet-talk him he can't really kill him for being aggravating- that would just mean suicide even if he wanted Rhys dead- the kids got him in a box.

"I know Rhys." He said simply, "We've been friends since either of us can remember."

"Yeah, if you're so friggin smart how do I get Rhys to talk to me?"

"Have you apologized?" Vaughn tried, getting his answer when Jack just became silent. "Right, of course you didn't apologize. Rhys is easy, just...say you're sorry and mean it- and if it's really bad compliment him and offer to get him ice cream, it's his Kryptonite." He didn't feel bad about giving Jack all of the answers for Rhys, he just wanted the two of them to stop brooding so much.

He couldn't stand to see his best friend looking and walking like a zombie. He hadn't done that since his accident and that hadn't been a good time for any of them.

As Jack left, going over to Rhys- presumptively to apologize his ass off, Vaughn made a mental note to give Rhys shit about what a giant child his idol was.

* * *

After a lot of time and effort they finally got to Overlook. Apparently the entire town had been quarantined with a case of the shivers- he was pretty sure they were dead, Jack only sent them enough medicine to keep them alive. It was definitely easier to control the citizens of Pandora when they were shaking and seizing instead of rallying with guns.

Not one of his best moments, but the citizens here had it better than a lot of settlements.

They stepped through the mainly dead town and into the back of it, "This should take us right up to Helios, I just need to-" Jack paused, noticing what was on the screen. "fucking vault hunters."

"Wait, what happened now?" Rhys asked, looking at the screen and noticing the lock out. "Oh..."

"It'll be fine kitten," Jack assured, "We just need a little bit of time," he murmured before calling out to the others, "You guys all have weapons, right?"

Sasha had her SMG, Fiona had Rubi, Rhys had his stun baton, and… "Vaughn, do you have anything?" Rhys asked, not wanting to leave his- well, probably his only real friend at the moment.

"Don't worry about 'im kiddo, he could probably go hand to hand with a few psychos."

"And everything was going so well..." Vaughn murmured sarcastically.

"Jack..."

"Right, fucking hell I gotta pistol- if everything works out you can keep it."

"How nice." Sasha sneered, not hiding any displeasure for Jack's personality in the least, "So we cover you and probably die in the process and you and Rhys get on Helios without doing any work."

"Can you hack Hyperion tech princess? Can you hack at all?" Jack snapped, "Didn't think so. I didn't have any obligation to keep you Pandoran bitches alive and I'm trusting you to cover me!"

"Rhys stay with me."

"I can handle myself!"

"I could use you to help me." he tried, figuring that coaxing the cybernetic male would keep him safe, he had no idea what Rhys could do in a life or death situation on his own.

Rhys pouted, "I know what you're doing Jack." he said, even though he knew he was probably acting like a stubborn princess. "You're like- the best hacker in the universe probably," Jack made a mental note not to give into the flattery, "And I'm pretty fucking great with this." he held up the stun baton.

"But you need to-" _oops, almost spilled the secret._ He was sure Rhys had no idea what Jack wanted with him, maybe he thought that Jack wanted a battery.

"What?"

"Nevermind, just- don't be stupid." he assented, focusing everything on working past the cracked sub-systems, it was almost caveman like firewalls. Considering that this was his tech, he figured he could get in in five minutes...tops.

They had about thirty seconds of relative peace before a pyre thresher came out of the ground, the group of four standing slack jaw in awe and fear. "We're fucked."

"No," Vaughn said, noticing the bandits, "Now _we're_ fucked."

And they were, the four of them were terribly under armed, and didn't work well as a team but if anything they had an overwhelming well of luck that was- hopefully- not tapped out yet.

"Jack how are you doing?!" Rhys screamed, over the sound of psycho's yelling about their mothers. He dipped and dodged four buzz axes, hitting a psycho in the groin- it went down with a wail reminiscent of a little girl- allowing him to lead them over to Fiona, "Hey can you shoot these assholes?"

"Hold on kitten!"

"Yes!" She snapped back, "Jesus, don't get you're panties in bunch." she added under her breath after hitting them with fire and shock bullets.

"Oh fuck-oh fuck-oh fuck" Rhys whimpered, skipping over the dead body before bounding face first into a marauder. He was stuck on his knees, focusing on dodging the bandits shots until he had an opening and crushed his- or hers, he could rarely tell- ribcage.

Vaughn on the other hand was sandwiched between two nomads, "Rhys! A little help?"

"Yeah, sorry!" He quipped, before backing over to Vaughn, unfortunately he was a little to late and had to bear witness to his best friend being hurled over into a stone wall, "Fuck! Sorry dude."

Vaughn flew for a few seconds before he crashed into the wall to Jack's side, "You about done?" he snarled, before getting up and dusting himself off.

"I just need one more minute, just keep us alive for… fucking really? Ninety seconds!'

God, he really didn't want to do that. He doubted Rhys would be okay with that either, even if he was good with his stun baton, threshers were tough!

In one fell swoop, the thresher had him in it's tentacles. He groaned, sure that he would be dead in the next minute until he realized that he was level with it's eye.

Rhys didn't think twice before jamming his stun baton directly in the creatures eye socket, closing his eyes and hoping for the best.

When the creature went down, either stunned or dead, Rhys looked as if it wasn't something he could believe actually happened to him. A dreamy far off look clouded his eyes, "Rhys! Holy shit that was awesome!" Sasha was kind of amazed, she honestly believed that the two Hyperion lackeys were dead weight but they really proved their mettle.

"Thanks… I'm gonna go sit down." he said, as he moved towards Jack and curled into himself, struggling to stay awake.

"I- okay, I think they're all dead." Fiona panted, her fringe sticking to her forehead and her hands shook with exhaustion. "We better get the frick off this planet."

After a few moments of silence, no more bandits and threshers angling to attack them, Rhys was the one to break the silence. "Jack? Is...is everything good?"

"Baby we're more than good, we're fucking golden." He laughed at his stupid little joke, "Okay come on, all you assholes hold on. Forewarning, you're going to feel like all of your intestines are squeezing together and mashing into your rain at the same time- not good."

It didn't take them more than a second to understand the exact implication of what Jack meant.


End file.
